Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
