Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize