I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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