ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
