oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
MIDGETS
????
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
