I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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