oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
