I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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