turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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