I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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