your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You took a bar mat shot.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
