I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
