Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I want her autograph on my taint
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
