goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
