Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
