I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
this hospital has no fireball
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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