During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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