Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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