im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk