I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
These tits shall not be calmed
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize