dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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