I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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