It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
