so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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