I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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