Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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