At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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