Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude i'm inner monologue high
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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