first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
