he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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