he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
