Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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