A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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