My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
