if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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