i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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