I seem to have left my pride at pride
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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