you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
