How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
