I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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