I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize