Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
