pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize