Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
