I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
