WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
try to milk me bitch
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
