Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
soo... how was my night?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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