Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
