I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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