How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
