Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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