There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize