It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize