think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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