just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
