that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
