Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
