Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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