are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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