I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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