You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
