Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Panties = found
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
