That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
