Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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