i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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