as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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