i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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