he puts the penis in happiness.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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