Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
tell me about the fingering
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
